May 10, 2002 - 1.37 pm
I've been thinking about adding an entry for days now. But everytime I sign on, I just can't seem to formulate what I have to say.
So, yeah, school's over! SUMMER VACATION! SCHOOOOOOOOOL'S OUT for SUMMER! (I hate myself for this. Really. I've been perusing some of the diary's on Clix, and the ones written by teenagers I generally hate. And this little school's happy dance makes me sound too much like them for my own sanity.)
L, EH, L's roommate, SK and I went to donate blood yesterday and my blood tech was this great African woman who just totally inspired you to trust her. And my trust was not misplaced. She was great. I got done the fastest. 4 minutes. EH had some problems with it that put her in a sour mood for the rest of the day, so yesterday I just ended up TOTALLY ANNOYED. So, L, SK and I left. Meaning just to go our seperate ways, but we decided to go back to L and SK's and watch TV and have dinner. So we fixed burritos, and L, SK and I were quietly watching Thursday night TV, (Friends, Will and Grace, ER. Dammit, more of the stupid teenybopper shit! But I am an ER whore. And Friends and Will and Grace are pretty funny) OK, whatever, so we're all just chillin' watching TV, generally becoming blobs, it's the week after finals, we're allowed. ;) And L's boyfriend, B, shows up.
Which normally would be fine. But I purpousfully sat on the other end of the couch where L usually sits because I didn't want to DEAL with B and L being all grabby and gross. Again, normally, I can deal, but last night my hackles were just totally up. And my sitting on the other end of the couch did nothing because then B just sat on the end and it was the same old story. They used to be really good in groups, not gross, and like, "You're the schmoopie!" "No YOU'RE the schmoopie!" But lately just ARGHTLSDLKJREWIJ){IOJGLDSH:NRT. So obnoxiously cutesy. And here's the thing. It feels exclusionary. When they get like that I feel like I should be hanging out somewhere else, not invading on what's supposed to be a private thing. So I'll usually direct my attention to my fingernails, or Silly Putty or soemthing. And I'm not the only one. Most of our friends feel sort of grossed out about this, and I think it's because it changes the dynamic of the group. It's not "hey! Six friends hanging out!" It's "Hey! A couple and four single friends!"
I don't really know what to do about it. I don't want to approach L about it because honestly, I'm not sure that I'm not just overreacting as I am wont to do sometimes. And because I'm not sure she'd care. I totally don't mean that in a
To end on a bit more positive note, last night when I got home feeling positvily hackled and annoyed to find dumbass drunk people in my driveway, finally found a place to park, went in to where my roommate, S was muttering at them to shut the HELL up. I laid down on her bed for a minute and we started talking and it really was a soothing experience. It was me and S and the cats, Emerson and Muse on the bed and it just evolved into this really nice talk, the kind where you're murmuring because you're too tired to open your mouth enough to sufficiantly ennunciate. I ended up with a blankey and a pillow sleeping on the end of the bed, and it was nice. It was home. So despite the things that got my hackles up, there was no better way to end that day.
And now I'm going to sell my textbooks back and pack because we're moving to a house!
Emily
