May 22, 2002 - 2.31 am
This will be true rambling. Free write. I had this nice entry written (or half written) about my parents, but that will have to wait. It is 2.30 in the morning after all.
see, here's the thing. i don't think she'd listen to me. i don't think i could say anything that wouldn't put her on the defensive and i don't want to do that at all. but everyones feeling annoyed and put out because it's almost impossible to be around the two of them. and i don't know how to bring it up. because i don't want to hurt her feelings she's done such a good job at making me feel included and like i belong but this. i don't know how to handle this. i told her i'd let her know if her name got attached to anyone elses and i don't know if i should keep that promise because i don't know if she could hear it from me. i don't know if i could say it to her. i can just see me trying to bring it up and her talking me out of it making me think i'm being irrational and moody and unfair to her and her relationship and i don't want to be because i love her and i like him. he's been good for her. and she for him, i think. i wouldn't know for sure because i didn't know him before i knew her. but by all accounts she's been good for him too. and i don't want to see her destroy the relationships with all her other friends. she could never destroy our relationship but she's making her roommate and all of our other friends uncomfortable. i guess that's not true. he's obviously not uncomfortable. but his roommate is moving out partially because of that, and i wonder if hers will stick it out. i mean, they resigned the lease, but i wonder some times. i can understand everyones position and i want to talk to her because i don't know how this will all end. and i have this horrible situation in my head where she just says who cares about all of us and i'm out the best friend i've ever had. because she is very very in love with him. but it seems like they could be very very in love without making the rest of their friends feel alienated. . .i wish i knew how this all would end.
