September 3rd, 2002 - 9.33 pm
You know, I hate to sound stupid, or young or whatever, but I am so tired of being the only 20 year old virgin I know. Lately, my friends have started tossing stories around, and those are some great times, but I feel so . . .inexperienced. Which, I guess, I am. But am I abnormal? According to all sources, yes. MTV says that people, on average lose their virginity their senior year in high school. My friend, EH was talking about another friend of hers who was "really old" when he lost his virginity -- 21.
But how do you define "sex"? I'm taking this class, social construction of human sexuality. Before this class, if someone asked me what sex was, I would have said, yeah, thinking of course, the age old "did it go in, or didn't it?" But is that all? What about lesbians? Does "it" have to be a penis? Does "it" have to go in a vagina? Well, yeah, that's sex, but what about touching, fingering, licking, what about toys? Does a dildo count as "it" going "in"?
So, you say, alright, "it" doesn't have to go "in" anywhere, but how about, activities where two consenting people engage in activities that lead to orgasm.
Well, OK. From what I hear, women, it doesn't happen much. At least, not without a significant effort on her partner's part. Women aren't built to orgasm during pvi (penial/vaginal intercourse) and it sounds like some men are willing to give oral sex the old college try, but unless they spend some quality time down there, it really doesn't work.
Now, if you know me and don't want to know some personal information, avert your eyes. Move on to the next non-parenthasied paragraph.
(For me, it doesn't really take that much. I know it's a big secret, women don't masturbate. What the hell ever. I think it's healthy. If women don't know what works for them, how can they expect their partners to?? So, anyway, yeah. Not much work really to get some good things goin' on down there. But I've never had anyone down there who was trying to produce an orgasm.
I cannot actually believe I just wrote that, by the way. God forbid A or anyone ever stumbles on to this. Or even worse, like, my mother.
SEE! This is what we talk about in class. Why should I be ashamed? And yet, I am. I feel like I'm bad, or that I'm pathetic because here I am, 20 and I've never had sex.)
Not that any of these questions matter because, I'm flying solo baby! (Oh man.)
And then! Rape. We all know how I feel about this so I won't go into it, but is rape sex? And does rape just mean pvi? Guys view this so much differently than girls. In my recitation today, the guys in my small group were like "You know, I don't think rape really exists." And I was thinking, yeah, right, because you don't think it can happen to you. I was actually really proud of myself because I could think it through, and make some good arguments and not get all shakey and flashback-y I was able to seperate current Emily, from Emily the Frightened Child. I'm still Rape-Victim Emily, and I'm still not ready to tell the whole world this, but I am ready to start reconstructing my view on a lot of things.
So, yeah, sex.:)
