October 20th, 2002 - 6.11 pm
"Feed Jake/he's been a good dog/my best friend/right through it all/and if I die before I wake/Feed Jake."
Pirates of the Mississippi, Feed Jake.
I know, I know, once again, reconfirming my geekeness, but my doggie died today.(I don't think this is an entry I'm going to be able to get through without big tears) I went home with my parents after the football game yesterday, just because I'd been feeling really like I wanted to go home, and so last night, I was goofing off with my sisters and watched some other football with my Daddy and went to bed. I knew our beloved golden retreiver, Sandy was in a bad way, a few weeks ago, she'd had her belly tapped and a bunch of fluid drained off and the vets said, it could be a one time deal, and if it was great! The other possibility is that it was cancer in her heart probably, and the fluid would come back, and then it was probably time to let her go.
So, I knew it was coming. I just didn't know today. What's the bible verse about not knowing the hour? Anyway, my mom woke me up this morning and said Sandy had a bad night, not sleeping breathing hard, and I knew that was bad. I knew eventually the fluid would squeeze her heart and make it impossible for her to breathe. So, my mom had already called our neighbor's sister, Shannon, who's a vet to come look at Sandy-girl and she confirmed what I knew. That it was only going to get worse, that even though Sandy still smiled and wagged her tail, and licked us, she was in a lot of pain, and it would only get worse. So, my Dad, my Mom my sisters and I decided it was time to let our puppy go gracefully. We petted her and told her we loved her and that she was our good girl, and Shannon-the-vet quietly gave her two injections, one to just relax her, and the other Shannon said would just make her sleepy, and eventually, her heart would stop.
I felt a little bit like my heart was going to stop. Even though I knew this was coming, I had no idea that it would hit me this hard. After I gave my vote that it was time for us to put her to sleep, I started crying. And I didn't stop until a few hours later, and even now, it's not taking much to get me started again. I kept remembering all of these things, like when she was a puppy, she loved to dig in the sand box to get to the cool, wet sand. Which is how she got her name. How she used to grab my sister, Ab's mitten that was attached to her coat and drag her around the yard. That would always send my Grandma into fits, because she'd just get Ab cleaned up and Sandy would drag her around the snowy, muddy yard. One time, I made rice crispie treats for a school bake sale and left them on the counter, and you know exactly what she did. She ate every last rice crispie treat and then horfed enthusiastically all over the living room. She knew about my cooking. :)
She just had this great little face, you know, with big, liquid brown eyes and the ever-present pink tounge that always found my face when it was burried in a pillow. Even today, her head in my lap, she managed a few last licks.
Before I knew it, we were surrounded by neighbors.Shannon's sister and family were there, and neighbors from across the street, all around us, petting her telling her what a good girl she is. Not a dry eye in the house. I had no idea this was going to be so hard. Not just on my and my familybut on our neighbors, the kids who didn't have dogs, but sometimes came to visit Sandy and our pug, Baxter, and give them Scooby Snacks.
I know everyone says this, but my dog was a true and faithful friend. I don't know that I'll ever have a truer or more faithful friend. She loved me always. Sandy was glad to see me whenever I came home. We spent countless hours in front of the fireplace, my head on her belly as I read a book, sometimes just lying there.
We burried Sandy on the side of a mountain. She loved to go with us and run and run and run. I can see her running ahead and then looping back, her pink tounge hanging out of her mouth saying "Thanks guys thanks guys this is really fun!"
Thanks, Sandy Thanks, Sandy. This was really fun.
