December 18th, 2002 - 2.27 am
So, gathering by some of the mail I got from people, I really freaked some people out last entry. LOL. Sorry. I didn't mean to. Do you know how when something pounds and pounds and pounds at you until you feel like you can't breathe? That was me. So, once I got it out, I felt so so so much better. This is just a quick entry to say that. Because it's late and I'm tired but I had a really great day, and Sunday was great, and I just got hit with these feelings, and needed some place to put em. So, if I owe you e-mail (coughJessiecoughandcoughRileycough) I'm not not e-mailing you, I'm just too tired to make coherent sense right now. So, know that I am OK. And I will get better. But for a few minutes, I just needed to be able to sit with feeling bad.
That's really something MESA's been teaching me, how to just sit with feelings. I ask my clients some times to take a minute and sit with how they're feeling if I feel like maybe they're out of touch with themselves. It's a hard thing to do. So many times we distract ourselves from what we're really, truly feeling, or thinking, and to take a few minutes, an hour whatever you need to just sit with your anger/pain without having to heal it or fix it is a blessing in disguise. It hurts, dude, it sucks. But to feel better sometimes, you have to feel shitty first. Or you have to realize you feel shitty and you have to give yourself permission to just feel shitty, not hide from it, or try to fix it with quick fixes.
So, I totally can't tell if I'm making any sense. So, I'm going to go. To bed. Talk to you soon. :)
