January 17, 2003 - 6:01 p.m.
So, this journal will be looking for a brand new home.
There are reasons for this and the main one, is that now everyone I know (practically) has an on-line journal, and there are things I want to talk about and don't feel comfortable with the "real life" audience that I now know I have. I'll continue to write some things here, and probably double post, but some of the more "sensitve" material will be moved to a brand new home.
I feel like this on-line journal thing has been, in some cases, detrimental for my "real life" friends. (I use quotes with "real life" because the folks I've met on-line are certainly real life friends, but I need to make the distinction somehow, though, you know?) I feel like instead of talking to each other, we're now reading each other's journals and I don't think that's OK. Because of the NATURE of a journal, it's supposed to be honest, and real, and that may mean saying some things that maybe you don't want to say to a particular person yet. A journal is a safe space for rehearsing something, blowing off steam, whatever. And I for one am feeling really uncomfortable right now, with expressing some things I really want/need to express. I feel like my entries have been shallow/non-existant because when I do write, I'm writing superficially, not what I really am feeling.
Now this isn't a diss, or a knock, or anything. This isn't to say I don't trust and love my "real-life" friends, because I do, I really do. If you've been reading long at ALL you know that there is no one more important to me in the world. But I think I'm allowed a safe space, even from the people I love the most, to say whatever I want to say, without fearing what someone's going to infer or, worrying about whether or not "it's time" to have this particular discussion. I want to write from the gut, what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking and not censor it for anyone's benifit. And that's not what's happening now.
If you want, e-mail me for the new address, and if the situation merits, I'll give it to you. There are some great people that I don't see every day and that I met through "I Might Be Lost, but I Might Finally Be Free" and that I care about. So, (and you know who you are) just send me an e-mail and when I get moved I'll give you the new address.
So. The times, they are a-changing. :)
